


passing time

by kenssihwa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cancer Sucks, Haikyuu - Freeform, I cried while writing this, Karasuno High, Other, daisuga - Freeform, high school setting, probably one of my favorite stories yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26710042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenssihwa/pseuds/kenssihwa
Summary: "sometimes, not everything will end in a happy ever after. we all have to experience some formof suffering, right?""it doesn't matter. we'll always meet in the next life."
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Kudos: 8





	passing time

it was midnight.

sugawara felt the sudden urge to run away, though he couldn't due to the tubes attached to his limbs.

a sigh escapes his lips, eyes wavering towards the open window by his hospital bed. today was hectic, with so many things happening in one sitting. he was overwhelmed with the sudden news about his health.

how was he going to attend all his classes? how was he going to tell his friends about his current situation?

he was only in high school. it burdened him because of the fact that he knew couldn't live longer. 

—

"i'm sorry for the sudden news, but you have lung cancer."

his heart shattered at the words that fell out of the doctor's mouth. his mom who sat next to him felt into a quiet sob, hugging her son to her chest.

sugawara was silent, trying to process whatever was going on in his mind. but for somewhat reason, he just couldn't understand. 

a tear fell from his eye, unaware that tears began pouring onto his cheeks.

he couldn't do the things he's always wanted to do now.

finish his studies, have a great job and grow a happy family with his loved one.

that's all he ever wanted, but he couldn't have.

—

"morning, suga-san!" greets a familiar brunette, his arm slinging around the shorter latter's shoulders. "hey oikawa," suga timidity greets. the brunette raises a brow.

"what's wrong? usually you're cheery in the morning? hungry?" he asks with pure concern. a small smile appears sugawara's lips. "it's okay. i just don't feel well but this will go away soon.." he says, patting the taller on the back.

"i've gotta go now. see you at lunch, oikawa." waved the gray haired latter, entering his classroom and taking a seat on his respective spot.

as he sits down, a familiar set of hands appear on his desk. "good morning daichi," he greets.

koushi and daichi have always been close friends since their first year in this school. they've gone through almost everything memorable in their years of friendship.

"you look pale, didn't eat breakfast again?" the dark haired male raises a brow. sugawara lamely shrugs. "yeah... i didn't feel like eating, i guess.." he looked away, his stomach burning. 

it wasn't of hunger but something else, though sugawara subsided the feeling, relieving some pain in a form of a short cough. 

he had always been sickly, due to having been born with some complications like asthma, heat exhaustion, anemia and what not. he's surprised that he can even withstand the national's they played at a few months ago.

a plastic wrapped item was placed on his desk. "atleast eat this. it's cream bread, your favorite." daichi spoke, nudging the pastry closer to the latter.

a small smile formed on sugawara's lips as he took the bread, unwrapping it. "just so you don't bother me about eating the whole day," sugawara says before biting into the bread, the taste of sweet frosting hitting his tastes buds.

it was definitely his favorite thing in the world. with him having quite a tame sweet tooth unlike nishinoya or hinata who lived off of different sorts of candies, the only sweet thing he could really take was the frosting from sweet bread or fruits.

daichi rolls his eyes, sitting down while still keeping his body turned to focus on his best friend. 

"how are you feeling? did the doctor say anything interesting?" sugawara stills at the mention of his recent visit to the doctor. it was only the day after the visit, and he was allowed to visit school for a few days (since he begged) before finally receiving his much needed chemo.

sugawara shrugs, continuing to munch on his bread. "nothing much. the doctors just told me to eat more," he says, earning a nod from daichi.

the whole day went as per usual, besides the constant twitching in his chest and the sudden short losses of breath during classes which somewhat made daichi grow curious.

there were also times where he had suddenly began to spit out or cough out blood which had made him feel nervous.

during their practice that afternoon, sugawara felt himself lose all air in his lungs. he wasn't even doing anything, besides talking to kiyoko and yachi, but why was he feeling like his whole chest was being pinned down by anchors?

sugawara collapsed to the ground, voice cracking as he begged for help. 

immediately, the managers called for help and dialed for an ambulance.

all the latter could hear was the constant ask of the question: "can you hear me sugawara-san?" and "what's going on?"

when he woke up, it was bright. his breathing had finally stilled now, feeling more relaxed as he could take more breaths of fresh air, though that soon turned into a coughing fit at the itchy feeling in his nose.

"the fuck..?" he curses, bringing his hand up to his face. an oxygen tube? he looked around, spotting the iv line injected into his arm and the few fluid bags on racks next to him.

was he confined in a hospital?

the sound of the curtain that gave him privacy had moved, the soft clinking sound of the hoops scratching against the bar that held up the curtain.

"oh thank god you're awake." sighed the latter in relief. sugawara narrowed his eyes before being familiar with the figure. "you okay?" asks the latter.

"d-daichi?" sugawara called out, earning a hum from the captain. "what time is it?" asks the setter, sitting up with the help of his friend. "around 11 pm. you were out cold as soon as you collapsed in the gym. all of us followed the ambulance to go here." daichi says, sitting down on the guest seats.

the setter looked at the nearby window, noticing that it had definitely become dark.

guilt hit him. "i'm...i'm sorry.." sugawara didn't know what to say. surely, everyone who he knew had found out about his terminal illness.

"why didn't you tell me that you have cancer, koushi?" daichi looks up at him with eyes filled with hurt. sugawara felt his mouth go dry, unable to answer the question.

he swallowed thickly, fidgeting with his thumb. "i just...i didn't want everyone to worry. i know this news is heavy, but i never really meant to keep it as a secret." he spoke, voice shaking.

he was scared that everyone was going to leave him as soon as they found out about his illness.

it was scary. all too scary.

"i'm sorry," he croaked. his throat hurt, parched due to the lack of water, but he quickly dismissed it. the two sat in silence for god knows how long till a pair of arms wrapped around sugawara.

"it's alright." daichi spoke, pulling suga closer to his chest. he had a feeling that their time was going to run out quick, and boy, how much he wanted to bring back time.

sugawara sobbed into his chest for minutes that felt like hours, and daichi didn't mind. he knew suga couldn't do whatever he wanted to achieve in life. he didn't have alot till his time ran out.

that night, sugawara didn't sleep. daichi was sound asleep on the guest seats, but he was wide awake. 

thoughts roamed his mind as seconds passed. the room was awfully quite and it could feel like he could go crazy any second. 

it was already midnight aswell and not alot of things are going on in the hospital, or at least not alot of people are passing through his hallway. he let out a sigh, shifting so he could sit up a bit. he grabbed the water bottle on the table near him and took a swig at it.

he had finished half the bottle, not even realizing how dehydrated he had become that his lips began to crack.

soon, tears brimmed his eyes as he put away the water bottle.

he didn't know why he had began to cry. he was confused. 

sugawara snuggled back into his bed, falling into a slumber that was filled with only pure joy that he wished he could've had in the future.

as days passed, everyone on their team had decided to take turns to watch over suga, sacrificing their time in school just for him. he had insisted that he was fine by himself, but everyone had told him that every second mattered with him now.

when finals came about, everyone on their team was at school, busy studying. they had promised to visit him right after the exams, which he definitely was grateful for.

sugawara was left alone in his room, the soft sound of the tv playing a soap opera in the background of his thoughts.

he was bored. he wanted to do something.

he slowly say up and remembered that yachi had given him a notebook and some pens and pencils to mess around with. 

though he wasn't too creative nor was blessed woth the skill of an artist, he loved to draw. sugawara had always loved drawing since he was young, and had grown a knack for it whenever he was bored or had some free time to spare.

he would usually draw a scenery that he liked. he opened the sketchpad, picking out a pencil. closing his eyes, sugawara had visualized a scenery of a beach at sundown. 

he remembers the time when daichi and him had gone to a beach even though it was way out of their plans. they watched the beautiful moment together, and it was something he would never forget.

when he faced daichi, the red and orange hue of the sky reflected over daichi's tan skin. he smiled brightly, the creases at the corner of his eyes making an appearance.

he remembers how daichi held his hand that time, pulling him close as the sun began to set more. "i love the scenery," sugawara said, eyes never leaving the setting sun.

"it really is beautiful." daichi replied. as sugawara was convinced that daichi was talking about the sky, he was completely wrong about it.

an hour later and some finishing touches, sugawara had finally finished his little scenery art work, feeling proud of himself. it was exactly how he had remembered it to be.

he puts away all the other art supplies and cleans his hands with alcohol. 

"that was nice." he sighed in satisfaction. he had another session of chemotherapy coming soon, so he was just waiting for time to pass as usual.

he closed his eyes, hoping a quick amount of shut eye thought his mind was filled with one specific person.

sawamura daichi.

after that small memory of his beach experience, the smile that daichi wore had began to be imprinted in his mind the more he thought about it.

he was so...lively. it screamed pure happiness and satisfaction. sugawara had only seen daichi make the same smile infront of him, and not going to lie, it definitely made his insides act up.

he wanted to smile like that sometime soon.

a month had passed. sugawara was slowly growing thinner and thinner by the minute. he didn't have much of an appetite and he was always sleeping now.

tadashi had decided to feed him some noodles since suga was having a hard time to move. "thank you," sugawara spoke, his attention going back onto the next pice of art he was making.

everyday, it had become a hobby for him to just draw and color. he enjoyed it and clearly saw the improvements made. "what are you making?" yamaguchi asks, peeking over suga's hand.

"ah. just some sceneries. i'm not too good at drawing like yachi or asahi," sugawara let out a sheepish laugh. "it's alright! it really looks beautiful though, sugawara-san." praised the pinch server.

"thank you. i appreciate it a-alot-" as sugawara finished his sentence, he broke into a fit of coughs before spitting out specks of blood on the sheets. yamaguchi panicked and pressed the button that called for a nurse.

immediately, one had responded and moved fast to help sugawara. yamaguchi exited the room, watching as the nurses began to work together to keep the latter stable. 

he sat down on the floor, releasing a heavy sigh. "what happened?" he looked up to find tsukishima. "sugawara-san coughed up blood again," yamaguchi stood up, looking through the viewing window.

"oh no." was all tsukishima could say. his gut was telling him that something bad was reaching them soon. goosebumps roamed across his body at the nerves.

"yamaguchi...what if i told you that i feel like this isn't going to end well for all of us." the shorter didn't respond. he himself was aware of the situation.

no matter how much they had prayed and begged, time was running short.

months later, sugawara had entirely looked different from what he used to.

his once vibrant and flushed skin was down pale and colorless. his cheekbones had grown sunken, and he had become thinner. his once silver hair was now all gone, having been falling out from all the chemotherapy he had passed through. beanie was now on his head, covering the blank dome ontop.

but in daichi's eyes, he was still as beautiful as ever.

"hey," he greeted, pecking suga on the forehead. skinship had become normal for them now. daichi would kiss and peck suga on the cheeks or forehead as a sign of comfort and it would always bring a smile to sugawara's lips.

"hey." sugawara watched at daichi settled on the familiar seat. it was like time went by quick. it felt like it was only yesterday when he was just admitted to the hospital for passing out at the gym.

the latter put away his pencils and glanced at daichi. the two shared eye contact. "what do you need?" asked sugawara. "nothing much. i'm just wondering...where do you want to go before you die?" daichi asks.

sugawara freezes, looking away to think before a small smile forms on his lips. he opens his sketch book, and flips through till he reached the first page; his first ever work of art.

"the beach."

and so, they did. they went to the beach. all of them. the karasuno team, the coaches, managers and the alumni's even.

they had fun. sugawara felt happy as he watched his friends play in the sun and enjoy life with each other. he knew he couldn't make it soon enough, but all he could wish for now is everyone's eternal happiness. 

when it was around a quarter to five, they all sat down to watch the sunset. 

"it still feels like when we were first years," sugawara lets out a dry chuckle. "i know." daichi spoke. he interwoven their hands together as let time pass.

they both weren't good with words, but they knew that this moment was enough for them. 

"daichi." sugawara croaked. "thank you. thank for you always being there for me," he added, sniffling. daichi felt himself tear up. "no problem sugawara. it's my job to always make you be happy." he replied.

days later, time had began to reach it peak. sugawara grew weaker to the point where couldn't even move anymore. 

daichi stood next to his hospital bed, hand held tight around his. the others watched in silence.

"suga. can you hear me? it's daichi. everyone's here for you." he spoke in a shaky voice. "i-i'm sorry you couldn't do what you wanted." a tear fell, dripping down his chin.

"we've been protecting each other's backs since the start of high school, and i remember how you became my first friend here. we made a promise to always protect one another even in death," he sighed, sniffling.

"i-i can't say much, but i want you to know that everyone here, appreciates you. we all love you, and we all want you to know that you played a very important role in our lives," he swallowed thickly. 

sugawara listened in silence. he wanted to stand up and pull daichi into a hug, but he was too weak. he wanted to embrace everyone and say thank you to everyone. 

"life is unfair, but remember what you said? everything happens for a reason." daichi smiled, recalling the small bit of wise words sugawara had told him.

"i want you to know that...you can rest now. we all want you to have peace and be happy. sooner or later, we will all meet up and have fun like we used to." everyone in the room broke out in choked sobs.

hinata held onto kageyama as they both cried. nishinoya stood next to asahi, holding in his tears while the taller in the opposite. yamaguchi was sobbing in tsukishima's chest while the latter couldn't help but feel himself cry aswell. kinoshita gripped his bag tightly, while narita looked down, tears falling straight to the floor. ennoshita bit his lip, holdinh in the urge to scream. yachi held onto saeko, the two sobbing. tanaka held an arm around kiyoko, rubbing her back. ukai and takeda watched, unaware of the tears around their eyes.

daichi leaned over, touching his forehead with sugawara's.

"i love you so much, koushi." he spoke. with all his might, sugawara spoke in a choked sob, gripping daichi's hand with his left over strength.

"i love you even more daichi." he spoke, a weak hand cupping his cheek. "rest now. i'll see you soon." daichi pecked his forehead, looking at him a sad smile.

finally content, sugawara looked around the room before closing his eyes, letting the light come over him. 

_"thank you, everyone."_

sugawara had passed with a smile on his face that day, and daichi would never forget. none of them would forget this very day and promised each other that they would always be there for each other no matter what, because that what sugawara wanted for all of them; happiness.

years later, daichi sat in his office, roaming about his thoughts before he could finally leave work. today was a special day for him and for everyone else.

as the clock hit three, he was out the door in a second and drove immediately to the familiar spot. the place was quiet and noticed that he was alone this time.

"hey," daichi spoke, sitting down on the grass. he read the text on the plaque.

today was sugawara's death anniversary. though the others couldn't make it, daichi promised that he would for everyone. "how have you been? i miss you alot," daichi smiles, placing the white tulips on the grass mat. 

"work has been stressful. the others felt bad that they couldn't make it, but i'm sure you wouldn't mind. i hope you're doing well there, koushi." daichi sniffled, wiping away his tears.

he sat there in silence, thinking about on of the conversations he had with sugawara back the hospital.

_daichi sighed. "sometimes, not everything will end in a happy ever after. we all have to experience some form  
of suffering, right?" he spoke, leaning his head on the edge of sugawara's bed._

_the gray haired latter lets out a chuckle, his small hand reaching to hold daichi's big hand._

_"it doesn't matter. we'll always meet in the next life."_

the dark haired latter smiled in satisfaction. "definitely. soon, we'll meet in the next life, right koushi?" a brush of wind passes along daichi's face, sending such a comforting vibe.

"definitely."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading this! i wanted to write some angst bc i felt like it and i was pretty sad also.
> 
> i saw this fanart of daisuga in the studio ghibli film "the wind rises" and i wanted to take a few elements of that to this fic: https://pin.it/5FLymGD


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